these days
Havent been talking to anyone for ages. So much has been happening. Too much to write. So I havent been writing either.
It is not very encouraging to live in a fairy tale, as I had already suspected, for writing. Yes it is scary how much a relantionship changes one's life, one's perspective, one's understanding and judgement of things. I have to think more about it to be able to write. Just one point: yes, it is scary but it is not totally positive or negative. It is just the way it is, a phase in life. It is just that it is a radically different phase compared to the previous.
I have to admit that having someone judge me helps me judge myself better. This in turn prevents certain bashing operations I used to perform on myself.
This is the major thing. And additionally of course it puts my life in order. I usually do things at times acceptable by the rest of humanity now. Whether this is a good thing I am not discussing. (I would not be so stupid) I canalize my energy to my work. (Haha, yes I am one of those simple people now. You well know whom I am talking about)
What is it all about? Well lots of desire. Youth is a point in life where one is more than anything else governed by one's desires. I give in to them when I am not working. Thats why I spend so much time with him. It is not that we talk about great things.
Ah we definitely chat a lot. It definitely adds to me. But it adds to me in descovering how "normal" people are like, how they think, how they do, what they know. I learn what common knowledge, common sense is for instance. He does not widen my taste in movies/music/books. ( Sure we watched Elfen Lied together, but that was just my effort of trying to come up with sthg. we both enjoy) He does give me some information about general affairs, since he reads the papers. He also has much more knowledge about economy than I do. But frankly I could do a much more efficient research in that to find out what I want. In a nutshell, my dedication to us as a couple is nowhere near this kind of entertainment.
Desire yes but what else.. Love I guess is also there. But I do not feel weak or as if I should be looked after. Yeah I do sometimes feel like looking after him. (Maybe I should get a baby :p I see the first signals in me as my hormones are rising) But mostly, I am lazy. That should be all. Desire, a bit of love on both directions and laziness.
Laziness so I do not get to see others. I try not to get myself interested in anything else.
It is not very encouraging to live in a fairy tale, as I had already suspected, for writing. Yes it is scary how much a relantionship changes one's life, one's perspective, one's understanding and judgement of things. I have to think more about it to be able to write. Just one point: yes, it is scary but it is not totally positive or negative. It is just the way it is, a phase in life. It is just that it is a radically different phase compared to the previous.
I have to admit that having someone judge me helps me judge myself better. This in turn prevents certain bashing operations I used to perform on myself.
This is the major thing. And additionally of course it puts my life in order. I usually do things at times acceptable by the rest of humanity now. Whether this is a good thing I am not discussing. (I would not be so stupid) I canalize my energy to my work. (Haha, yes I am one of those simple people now. You well know whom I am talking about)
What is it all about? Well lots of desire. Youth is a point in life where one is more than anything else governed by one's desires. I give in to them when I am not working. Thats why I spend so much time with him. It is not that we talk about great things.
Ah we definitely chat a lot. It definitely adds to me. But it adds to me in descovering how "normal" people are like, how they think, how they do, what they know. I learn what common knowledge, common sense is for instance. He does not widen my taste in movies/music/books. ( Sure we watched Elfen Lied together, but that was just my effort of trying to come up with sthg. we both enjoy) He does give me some information about general affairs, since he reads the papers. He also has much more knowledge about economy than I do. But frankly I could do a much more efficient research in that to find out what I want. In a nutshell, my dedication to us as a couple is nowhere near this kind of entertainment.
Desire yes but what else.. Love I guess is also there. But I do not feel weak or as if I should be looked after. Yeah I do sometimes feel like looking after him. (Maybe I should get a baby :p I see the first signals in me as my hormones are rising) But mostly, I am lazy. That should be all. Desire, a bit of love on both directions and laziness.
Laziness so I do not get to see others. I try not to get myself interested in anything else.
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posted by irem at 3/07/2007 04:39:00 PM
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