yazmak

yazmak yazmak...yazmayi istiyorum. bir suru sey de var. ama yazilmiyor. bir suru sey oluyor. hicbiri önemli gelmiyor sanki. önemli olmasi gerekenler bile önemli degil cunku. simdi surda oturuyorum. Pazartesi bi makale göndericem. Ama bu bile önemli degil. Exceptionlara olan yogun zorlamam devam ediyor bu arada. Sonra ask devam ediyor. Ne biliyim... Hala zayifim. Mutluyum valla yok bir derdim. Hala enerjisizim. Aksam eve gelince kimseyle ama kimseyle konusmak istemiyorum. Simpsons izliyoruz cok guluyoruz ailecek. Hala bi fiziksel cabam yok. S ile konusmam lazim ama hala bir adim atmadim, kac hafta oldu. Iste gunah cikartarak yaziyorum. Ama o sorumluluk hissi bile azaldi. Isvecli oldum galiba. Böyle... Böyle devam eder.

Where to go from here?

• Turkey: They would crush Karl there. I would be too close to the family. Economy would be continuously in crises, PKK would be blowing up the next street, our children would grow up to be I do not know what.
  
• Sweden: God, boring.
• London: I would never see Karl. He would consist of a tool for making money, and soon left without hair.
• States: I would never see Karl, I would not see anyone but the colleagues. I would barely leave work, maybe 2 weeks a year. I would consist of stress, the competition would soon make me one of those neurotic working women.
  
• Australia: Karl would die of skin cancer.
  
• Germany: Neither of us has the discipline.
  
• Belgium, Netherlands, Switzerland: They do not compare to Italy. They look too dark. Flemish, Dutch looks hard, German also, French impossible.
  
• Canada: I am yet to find a decent thing to do. I even looked at XeroX or whatever research center. Mobile devices good. But what is ubiquitous computing?
  

All in all I do not have a clue

sun and music: they make everything look allright.